Lazy oh Lazy

i was looking for a moment in life where i can be a discipline girl with a neat and tidy schedule draft with detailed to-do list things. and i am. *crying in the corner*

since i was in junior high school, i wrote the daily things i wanna do to motivate me in being a better human being. i just looked back on my elementary school life when i got many "compliments" for my laziness: coming late EVERY DAY, never do homework, and lazy to talk with others.  i walked with my poker face so nobody thought i was stressed out of their words. it's funny how it could motivate me to be a more dilligent girl by using the drafts to remind me about what i should do on that day.

the thing is, i failed many times. i mean, i've made the list on the previous day, but as i wrote before: i use the drafts to remind me, not to force me. *oh yeah, that's the point*. when the laziness is coming, drafts will be drafts, they can't yell at me to wake me up from my playing-phone time, or from my leyeh-leyeh time (from Javanese, means being lazy time), or from my day dreaming time *it's still my favourite time*.

so it has been already about 10 years i make to-do-list notes. paper wasted, ink used, thoughts out, and my struggling for being dilligent and discipline still remains.
commitment, consistency, and continuous are what i need. anybody has idea to keep them safe? i got them but i got problems to keep them. :(

God bless