a Relax Time Please

hi, my blog..
i don't know what i have to say right now. i feel so complicated.
and i just need some shelter to accompany me in this dumb feeling.
without any judgment.
i know i always make mistakes and never be a perfect one.
i feel so guilty for everyone that i love because i can't give them my best
although i gave it. coz they won't know that it's my best.
my best is just that all. so foolish to be a perfect one.
what should i do? i really need a time. just right now to have a relax time.
my brain never stops thinking from some weeks ago and i feel so stress.
i didn't go to teach this morning. i can't see i'll be crazy right there.

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All New

another day is coming. but another heart has to follow it.

i know i have to have a new heart, not just the new days.

i'll get it in Jesus.. :)

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Wonder

i'm wondering and always will be..
what will i do in this sucking time, when i am down and no hand to reach out.
when i lose my control and have no time to clear my mind yet.
will everyone leave me and think that i'm a creep with my loon act?
do they come when i'm happy and go when i'm sad?
what are they doing for?
i don't have any reason even i feel that i'm right.
i'm not okay..

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Happy Holiday !

owh hi !
it's really long time no see !
even my latest post was my Christmas Eve..hahaha
well, my holiday in Salatiga was great, i felt good there. :)

now is February, a full of love month.
my relationship is still fine and my job is done well.
everything feels alright. everything.

the Chinese New Year holiday was left..
and Valentine Day is ahead.
i see everyone is preparing everything special to their lover.
and i'm thinking about mine, what should i do even i don't know
what should i give to my lovely boyfriend because i'm not used to.
i know everyday and every moment with him are special.
but i think it doesn't matter to follow this international tradition. :p

i'm doing so great this new year, hope it will be so.
really, i'm really grateful for Him.

i'm also thankful for him, everyone.

i know my life's not perfect, but i can live it perfectly !

how? i'm living with God !!

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Christmas Eve 2010

Hey, it's Christmas Eve!!
What a great night..i never felt like this before..u know why?coz i didn't have anything to celebrate in December at my house..
So i call this: My Great Christmas Time..
Although i'm in another city, with another people, and everything is different from i thought before, but it feels so amazing and great..
I can celebrate my Lord's birthday without any fear, i give some gift for the people i loved.
U know, this won't be the Blue Christmas like the last years are..
I'm not alone and i can hear the Christmas songs in the whole house..i feel in peaceful..
And the best part, i still have some free time to talk much with Him as usual in Christmas Eve.. :D

Well, i miss my home..

I gave Kaleb a gift..something that he wants from some weeks ago..hope he will like it.
Then he said he doesn't give me anything, but it doesn't matter..
Coz he's my greatest and sweetest present to me..
He said so! :D

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My Precious Days in Central Java

it was started on Saturday, Dec 18 2010.
it was a great journey and unforgetable memory.
i like the fresh air, i like some kinds of their food,

we can see the Merbabu mount from here..

i like the church, togetherness, and all of them.
them means to Kaleb's family. they're friendly and funny.
but i'm speechless to make they know me more.
i don't know why i can't talk so crowdy as usual.
but however, i enjoy these days..
especially with Kaleb, i can know him more.
well, i'm trying to be myself, cheer up myself.
i didn't find any reason why i shut my mouth up on the days before. :D

i ate so many foods here!
mie acar, pecel belut, so'un, soto, etc..
they're special food in Central Java.
i'm in Salatiga right now. in Kaleb's family home.
sometimes we went to Solo to meet their big family.
their family really "big" !! :D
and after this Christmas, we will go to the beach in Jogja.
just the teens, without parents this time..
and i can't wait patiently for the wonderful day in a year..
Christmas !
i'll tell u then about the Christmas time..
it will be really excited.. :)

well,
i love him more..
day by day, i feel it more.
in some minutes of my day, i think about my life sometimes.
when will i go back to my hometown and continue my study.
but i can't assure these things because i can't stand to be far from him.
even for three years..
he even can't stand to have no meet in a day!
let God see, he accepted me with all i am.. he's not rough.
he's kind, friendly, and funny. he likes baby and animal.
he loves his family and cares of all.
i even can't see his dark side anymore.
i know he has a large size of his body but i think it doesn't matter.
as far as we know he's still healthy and his lifestyle's good.
i fall in love deeply with that guy, just the way he is..
hope he did the same way to me also.
so we can do anything together forever! :)

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