Seriously

a woman smiled and asked me, "what is your dream?"

at that time i was thinking deeply but fast to answer her question. i said that i want to continue my study in a college. then when i left that room with messy and stressed mind, i started to ask myself "what is your dream, Yuli??"

as a growin'-up woman, i have many dreams. i'd like to have a great career, a peaceful life, a happy family, and so on. but i was stuck in a 'great career' part. i told my close friend that i don't wanna be a teacher anymore. she asked me why i say it so sudden. i told her, so now she knows i'm depressed and she understands what i'm thinking about. this tragedy should be called "career crisis" after when i was teen i felt an "identity crisis".

why-i-don't-wanna-be-a-teacher-anymore-?

first, i'm in depression! it's natural that i'll hate my current position because it feels suck. i feel my head are getting empty and i lose my mind about why i teach and love kids. why i do these all? why i take education business to feed myself everyday? why and why? i can't answer all questions in my head. is it because my mother, my grandmother, and the sisters of my mother support me to be a teacher? is it because i don't have any idea to work in beside teaching? or what?

second, i'm not confident. from every side i have, i'm grateful but i feel bad when i'm teaching. something in my mind wanna tell me something but i can't reach it out. yeah it's like i lose my self..omg

this post is too serious. i hate it. and i still can't find my really really real dreams.

this week i've got so many news. there were about my current jobs. there were about job offers. and some little suck things. i have to think seriously and decide wisely for i'll not regret on the next days. God will guide me and i hope i can do my best! wish me luck.. ^^

then, beside those annoyed things, i have a good news! ko Kaleb will come back here in the end of January! *party all night long*
yeah may be it's good just for me..haha. but thanks God You send him back home!

this article is a serious one and i seriously hate it. but i don't want to delete it because 50 years later i'll read this odd blog again and tell my grandchildren that i was having a "great time" that will lead me to the Yuli in the future. *what the heaven word is that?*

anyway, please leave a comment to show that i have at-least a reader. thank you.. :)
Gbu